Trouble Sleeping
by CarEtoDreaM
Summary: No matter how much she wishes that she were back to where she was only a year ago, it won’t happen. You can’t go back into the past. She can’t go back into the past.


Trouble Sleeping

CarEtoDreaM

Summary: No matter how much she wishes that she were back to where she was only a year ago, it won't happen. You can't go back into the past. She can't go back into the past.

A/N: A Harry/Ginny fic. Hope that you all like it.

**Hogwarts: Hospital Wing**

She's having trouble sleeping. Each time she closes her eyes, the scene replays in her mind again. She sees his red eyes, the thin pale skin that barely covered him, stretching over his bones. The scene of the last battle continues to play over and over in her mind. The cries of pain continue to fill her head. Has it really just been 2 or 3 days since Harry had defeated Voldemort? IT seems like weeks to her. But then again that could be due to the fact that she wouldn't even close her eyes at night in fear of seeing the images.

She was sure that she looked horrible right now… Her curly red hair lay in a mess around her face, her pale complexion clashed dramatically to the heavy bags that formed underneath her eyes. The idea that somebody could pop into the Hospital Wing and discover her like this didn't even cross her mind. She didn't think that she would even care if somebody did see her. She didn't care about anything anymore.

The door to the hospital wing creeps open slightly and she sinks deeper into her bed, not wanting Madam Pomfrey to fuss over her at the moment.

"Ginny?" A distinctively male voice calls out, ok, most definitely not Madam Pomfrey. "Ginny, are you all right?" The voice has become louder as the person moves closer to her.

She somehow manages to sit up on her bed despite the protest that her limbs are screaming at her. She stares at the boy in front of her. "Harry." She simply states.

It's a miracle that Harry had escaped with so little injuries. But then again, he wasn't the Boy-Who-Lived for no bloody reason. No physically injuries had scarred him, but mental injuries were a whole other story. He was scarred, who wouldn't be? He was the "Savior" though, so he had to pretend that he wasn't, for it he was then everything would be in chaos.

"Doesn't it hurt?" she asks him quietly.

He looks confused for a moment before he answers, "Oh, my injuries? They were only bruises and scratches, nothing that Madam Pomfrey couldn't fix right up."

"I'm not talking about your physically injuries Harry," she says in monotone before snuggling back into her blankets. "Why are you here?" she asks, her voice slightly muffled from the blanket.

"Everyone's really worried about you Ginny. You should have been getting better by now, but you're only getting worst."

"What about you Harry? Are you getting better?"

He pointedly ignores her questions and directs the attention back to her, "Ginny, please," he begs her. "Don't do this."

"It's guilt Harry, it's all guilt."

"Why, Ginny? You didn't do anything wrong."

Ginny shot up in her bed again, the anger so strong in her that it overcame all the physical pain. "_Didn't do anything wrong?"_ she repeated, seemingly incredulous. "I did _everything _wrong. I _killed _him. If it weren't for me, he would still be here."

"_Voldemort_ killed Seamus, it wasn't you."

"Tom," she whispered, not bothering to wipe the tears from her face. "I knew that if I ever loved somebody other than him, he would kill that person. I knew that, he told me. He said it himself; he said that I was his and that nobody was entitled to have what was his. But I did it anyways; I loved Seamus regardless of what I knew… I killed Seamus. Voldemort didn't do it, I did it."

"Ginny," he said with a pained expression on his face, "Please don't do this. Think about your family, they're all worrying about you so much."

"What family Harry! Ron and the twins? What about Mum, Dad, Charlie, Bill, and Percy? They're not here anymore; I don't even have half of my family left. What's the _point _in living!" she screamed at him, sobbing. It was all hurting her so much, she missed him, she missed them… She wanted so badly just for Seamus to come and hug her, whisper into her hair about how much he loved her and that everything would be okay again. She wanted her parents and her brothers back so badly.

She wished that everything that had happened in the past had not happened. It's about time that she stopped living in the past though, wasn't it? She can't seem to find herself able to do it though. No matter how much she wishes that she were back to where she was only a year ago, it won't happen. You can't go back into the past. She can't go back into the past. But no matter how many times she found herself repeating it over and over again, she still finds herself unwilling to accept it.

She lay curled up in a fetal position on her bed, her small and fragile body wracking from the force of her sobs.

"You can't just give up on life just because it seems like it's not worth living anymore," Harry whispered to her, sitting down beside her on the bed. "Do you know how many times I felt like doing that? But then I realized that I was being selfish because there were really so many people that needed me. You can't just give up on because everything seems so hard right now."

"I knew from the beginning of the war that I was going to lose people, I tried to prepare myself; but nothing compares to the pain that I'm feeling right now. It _hurts _Harry; I've never experienced death before and now it's hitting me so hard." She looked up at him, her eyes wide and wet, "How did you do it Harry; how were you capable of handling so many setbacks and so many deaths yet somehow you still found it in you to continue on?"

"I did it because I knew that I had to do it. And right now, you have to do the same thing."

She nodded her head and clung onto Harry as tight as she could as she sobbed into his shoulder. And slowly, with the comforting words that he gave her, the toll of 3 days with no sleep finally took over her and she found herself nodding off into a restless sleep.

"_I'll help you heal, Ginny Weasley,"_ Harry whispered to her the minute that her even breathing told him that she was asleep.

* * *

A/N: So there you have it I guess… Next chapter should be up soon. REVIEW PLEASE! 


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